Instead of attending the church today, I am choosing to not drive on slippery, icy roads or ride in a vehicle being driven by my man, who does not share the fear that I do. "Don't you trust me?", he asked yesterday when we did venture out and I though he was driving a bit too fast. I don't remember what my exact words were, but basically, I don't always trust him to be careful, wise, honoring others. He loves to be a tease, which is why his tongue is sticking out in the photo above. We've been married a little over 30 years and I KNOW that he is a bit of a daring creature. I am a fearful creature who learned from many experiences with careless people that trusting others is difficult. Once they've hurt me, I'm skeptical. If they've hurt me twice, MORE skeptical. After that, any trust I had goes poofing into the thin air, never to be seen or felt again. I used to think that God would not give me more than I could handle; a load not too heavy for my back-heart to carry. Well, He also has a Godly perspective on what "too much" is and He allows some of us to go through the torturous times that feel too awful so that we will cry out to Him and admit we are completely empty of our own ability to survive the situation. I can't carry much of a load. But I AM capable of crying out to Him. THEN what?
Trust. Him. Commit the load to Him, let Him carry it, emotionally, spiritually. I visualize that He is lifting it off my back. I dig in to the truth that I know of, believing in His power, believing in the fact that He can do anything, therefore I can do anything through Him, because of His strength.
Laugh. My Mom reminded me this week as I told her about a difficult neighbor situation that I must laugh at the enemy. he knows what my buttons are and he enjoys pushing them. he enjoys pushing ME into thinking the situation is unworkable!
Laugh, with joy! Oh, LORD, help me to claim and absorb the joy that comes through trusting Jesus. Trusting Him is easier as I know Him better! So, yes, laughter is not only vital and efficient, it is a life saver!
Love. I do know and believe that as I love the Lord and accept and trust His love for me, He will align my desires with His. He knows the desires of my heart (I don't WANT to live here anymore!!!), but that does't mean I get to move out tomorrow or even anytime this year! Along with His love comes His plan, His way, His big picture. I probably could temper tantrum my way into a different neighborhood or a different state, but if that's not part of His way, my desire would not align with His. Maybe there is something here that I am supposed to endure to strengthen me or to help someone else. It could be a time issue, where God is working in lives and those lives need to physically stay right where we/they are in order for His Way to be accomplished. Do I really want to mess that up? Because I want peace in my life, no. I don't want to mess it up. Trust and peace is like the glue that aligns me to God.
Peace. It has come to my soul's attention that when I am in turmoil over a situation in which my family and I are under fire, I must not fear what will happen next. When you get in the ocean where huge blobs of seaweed keep you from moving, what is your first thought? Mine would be, "Get me OUT of this twisted mess!" Don't panic. Claim peace. Behave in a rational, Spirit-filled way and He will will give you His peace. The leg trapping seaweed might seem to be holding you in a terrifying place, but remember (I say to myself), your Lord is with you. Look for the joyful purpose in this place. Believe that there is a God reason for this situation! Consider it a reason to be joyful and don't give in to fear or skepticism, or unrighteous anger or tongue flailing!
Sleep. Every human being needs sleep. When Jesus was here, he slept. He might've slept less than I do, but we're all wired a certain way. I NEED sleep in order to be a nice, fully functioning person. At times, I find myself living as if I am a load-bearing wall. Bang me with a hammer to hang pictures and mirrors, and I'm shaking yet standing; still "holding up"! Kick enough holes in me or whack me with a sledgehammer and, woa, I'm crashing down. My best sleep comes from being able to rest. Wiiiind doooown. Let go of the irritations and loads of life and DoN't try to be that load-bearing wall! Rest also comes from not taking on too much busy work whether at home or church, to please others' "Christian" expectations or the uber standards of people who think EVerybody has to fit the same mold. God's Way means I get to rest in who He has designed me to be and what we're going to do together He's the God of peace, equipping me with every good thing so that I can do His will, do good and share what I have with others.
May the Lord give you HIS peace, now and forever!
When the frustration in my heart gets to be overwhelming, I go to the lake and listen to God. It's easier to hear Him there as I slow down by the edge of the water...right where it kisses the land. He reminds me to not get all fussy about things because really, He does have it all in His hands. When I leave this place and all its rugged beauty, I feel calm and ready to take on whatever comes next.
Instead of attending the church today, I am choosing to not drive on slippery, icy roads or ride in a vehicle being driven by my man, who does not share the fear that I do. "Don't you trust me?", he asked yesterday when we did venture out and I though he was driving a bit too fast. I don't remember what my exact words were, but basically, I don't always trust him to be careful, wise, honoring others. He loves to be a tease, which is why his tongue is sticking out in the photo above. We've been married a little over 30 years and I KNOW that he is a bit of a daring creature. I am a fearful creature who learned from many experiences with careless people that trusting others is difficult. Once they've hurt me, I'm skeptical. If they've hurt me twice, MORE skeptical. After that, any trust I had goes poofing into the thin air, never to be seen or felt again. I used to think that God would not give me more than I could handle; a load not too heavy for my back-heart to carry. Well, He also has a Godly perspective on what "too much" is and He allows some of us to go through the torturous times that feel too awful so that we will cry out to Him and admit we are completely empty of our own ability to survive the situation. I can't carry much of a load. But I AM capable of crying out to Him. THEN what?
Watching people is something I sort of enjoy. There are moments, however, when the people around me are just too much for my eyeballs (and the feelings within) to take in. So I find myself looking away rather than AT. If a cute baby is in my sight range, I gaze admiringly. Beautiful people are easy to look at. My husband has amazing self control when beautiful women come along. He has programmed himself to look away. And he looks AT me...which is what I yearn for. His loving, admiring attention is what I appreciate and need. Yes, I said NEED. So many women today claim they don't need a man to make them happy. Well, fine, be that way. I'm a GIRL and I fell in love (over a few months' time) with this gorgeous, sleek hunk of a guy. I need him and he needs me. That's God's design.